Friday, August 26, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Strength takes Beauty
You spoke those words to me.....
Strength takes Beauty
and it hit me like a freight train running through my soul
Something inside of me was triggered
There was a beauty to it as well as a sting
So i sat with it and began to explore...........
It took me to my childhood and the princess and the prince
How I began to dream of my prince
what he would look like, how his voice would ring, his stature and his strength, his goodness.
That fantasy would last most of my life
I remember as a child what was most important was beauty.....
being told how beautiful I was and being rewarded for beauty
my parents held such a high standard for beauty... it was the only thing that really mattered to them
not that I was intelligent and creative and musical and artistic, nor that I was filled with wonderment and love and compassion. those things did not matter.
The fear of not being loved for who I was .... my essence and not being noticed for the beauty of my essence made me believe that only form beauty was important. the outside skin... i began to lose connection to who I really was. As the years progressed I became more and more disconnected.
I placed value in what I was shown was valuable.
Along side of this disconnection came a tremendous amount of fear
Fear of not being beautiful enough, not perfect enough, not good enough... the hatred began to rise up within me, it was turned inward.. the world would love me if I was perfect..
The more I judged myself and critiqued myself, the more the self-hatred grew. I began to feed that energy and so i began to draw in people who would expect "beauty" and knew nothing and would like nothing to do with my essence.. or put value in my divinity. They were simply there to judge me and run me and keep me spinning and driving me for perfection, as I was a distinct mirror of who i drew in.
What would make it stop?
But the exploration and knowledge and connection of who I really was... all I had been connected with as a child but was forbade to be. I lost myself.... but only for a time.... I began to explore and connect and the knowledge of who I am, I am in awe of myself. The overwhelming love and acceptance I feel for myself and the compassion is wonderful.
The greatest gift anyone could ever give you is acceptance and genuine love, but you will never receive i from anyone else unless first you receive it from yourself.... remember you draw in what you are... Your mirrors.. your resonance...
Strength takes Beauty....
Does the strongest man get the most beautiful woman?
What is strength? What is beauty?
Strength takes Beauty
and it hit me like a freight train running through my soul
Something inside of me was triggered
There was a beauty to it as well as a sting
So i sat with it and began to explore...........
It took me to my childhood and the princess and the prince
How I began to dream of my prince
what he would look like, how his voice would ring, his stature and his strength, his goodness.
That fantasy would last most of my life
I remember as a child what was most important was beauty.....
being told how beautiful I was and being rewarded for beauty
my parents held such a high standard for beauty... it was the only thing that really mattered to them
not that I was intelligent and creative and musical and artistic, nor that I was filled with wonderment and love and compassion. those things did not matter.
The fear of not being loved for who I was .... my essence and not being noticed for the beauty of my essence made me believe that only form beauty was important. the outside skin... i began to lose connection to who I really was. As the years progressed I became more and more disconnected.
I placed value in what I was shown was valuable.
Along side of this disconnection came a tremendous amount of fear
Fear of not being beautiful enough, not perfect enough, not good enough... the hatred began to rise up within me, it was turned inward.. the world would love me if I was perfect..
The more I judged myself and critiqued myself, the more the self-hatred grew. I began to feed that energy and so i began to draw in people who would expect "beauty" and knew nothing and would like nothing to do with my essence.. or put value in my divinity. They were simply there to judge me and run me and keep me spinning and driving me for perfection, as I was a distinct mirror of who i drew in.
What would make it stop?
But the exploration and knowledge and connection of who I really was... all I had been connected with as a child but was forbade to be. I lost myself.... but only for a time.... I began to explore and connect and the knowledge of who I am, I am in awe of myself. The overwhelming love and acceptance I feel for myself and the compassion is wonderful.
The greatest gift anyone could ever give you is acceptance and genuine love, but you will never receive i from anyone else unless first you receive it from yourself.... remember you draw in what you are... Your mirrors.. your resonance...
Strength takes Beauty....
Does the strongest man get the most beautiful woman?
What is strength? What is beauty?
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
show me
i heard this song today.. and i thought of you.. everything about this song sings you........... i am sorry for causing you pain.... could i show you that i could allow you to love me? and i could love you..... the way i meant to love you.... i wanted to hold you... i wanted to touch you.. the draw was overwhelming... i send you light and love........... you are beautiful to me.... thank you for loving me when i could not even love me........
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
SMILING ON THE INSIDE
Mantra: Om Hraum Mitraya
Complete Mantra:
Language: Sanskrit
Translation:
Complete Mantra:
Om Hraum Mitraya Namaha (2x)
Om Eim Saraswatiyei Namaha
Om Eim Saraswatiyei Namaha
Language: Sanskrit
Translation:
May the light of friendship shine
through me, drawing noble
companionship.
Om and Salutations to the
feminine Saraswati principle.
Monday, January 17, 2011
love..........
The very thought of you makes
My heart sing
Like an April breeze
On the wings of spring
And you appear in all your splendour
My one and only love
The shadows fall
And spread their mystic charms
In the hush of night
While you're in my arms
I feel your lips so warm and tender
My one and only love
The touch of your hand is like heaven
A heaven that I've never known
The blush on your cheek
Whenever I speak
Tells me that you are my own
You fill my eager heart with
Such desire
Every kiss you give
Sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender
My one and only love
The blush on your cheek
Whenever I speak
Tells me that you are my own
You fill my eager heart with
Such desire
Every kiss you give
Sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender
My one and only love
My one and only love
My heart sing
Like an April breeze
On the wings of spring
And you appear in all your splendour
My one and only love
The shadows fall
And spread their mystic charms
In the hush of night
While you're in my arms
I feel your lips so warm and tender
My one and only love
The touch of your hand is like heaven
A heaven that I've never known
The blush on your cheek
Whenever I speak
Tells me that you are my own
You fill my eager heart with
Such desire
Every kiss you give
Sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender
My one and only love
The blush on your cheek
Whenever I speak
Tells me that you are my own
You fill my eager heart with
Such desire
Every kiss you give
Sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender
My one and only love
My one and only love
Emotion
I know that I am to leave... to be united with the divine flow.... to embrace the joy of the future and to learn what this position has to teach me. The pain in my heart, the lump in my throat and then the tears well up in my eyes.. I let them flow... They flow for my partnership the last five years of my life and the comfort that it has brought me. The laughter and the acceptance that I have felt sitting next to him. The understanding of positioning and knowing how each of us would act and react to situations and places and people. I enjoy his person and want the best for him and his life.
I will miss the people that are a part of my reality at this very moment, I have a comfort with them and a knowing that I will see their faces and share with them daily... I will not have that option when I move. But I cannot stay in this because I would be blocking divine flow.
So I say my goodbyes, let my tears flow, embrace my fear of the unknown and loss of comfort.
I allow myself to position my feet on the ground to gain my presence and I embrace the new future.
I will miss the people that are a part of my reality at this very moment, I have a comfort with them and a knowing that I will see their faces and share with them daily... I will not have that option when I move. But I cannot stay in this because I would be blocking divine flow.
So I say my goodbyes, let my tears flow, embrace my fear of the unknown and loss of comfort.
I allow myself to position my feet on the ground to gain my presence and I embrace the new future.
Friday, January 7, 2011
i will sing this to you one day.......and all the days after
I want you to be my love
I want you to be my love
'Neath the moon and the stars above
I want you to be my love
I want you to know me now
I want you to know me now
Break a promise make a vow
I know you want me now
Like I want you
I want you to be my love
I want you to be my love
'Neath the moon and the stars above
I want you to be my love
'Cause I want you
I know all you--
All you've been through
I want you to be my love
'Neath the moon and the stars above
I want you to be my love
I want you to know me now
I want you to know me now
Break a promise make a vow
I know you want me now
Like I want you
I want you to be my love
I want you to be my love
'Neath the moon and the stars above
I want you to be my love
'Cause I want you
I know all you--
All you've been through
e
Thursday, January 6, 2011
i love you
i love you
i wanted to tell you that
i love you within the depths of my heart
i enjoy your presence
i bask in your light
when you open your mouth i listen to everything you are willing to share
i anticipate with gratitude and acceptance, your views, your loves, your pains, your anger
your words drip like honey to my spirit
i was unaware of your form... until now
i recognize you and you are altogether lovely
all together perfect
you mirror me in ways that i have identified - some of them in wounds and some of them not
i love to share with you
your innocence makes me smile
i notice everything about you.. it is so fun to explore you
i feel like a kid in a candy shop with an unlimited amount of pennies!
your eyes pierce mine with a truth so deep it is almost painful
i love to watch you from afar and know your voice.. your tone, your inflection, your resonance
i love the way you make me feel
i want to feel you more and more each day
i wanted to tell you that
i love you within the depths of my heart
i enjoy your presence
i bask in your light
when you open your mouth i listen to everything you are willing to share
i anticipate with gratitude and acceptance, your views, your loves, your pains, your anger
your words drip like honey to my spirit
i was unaware of your form... until now
i recognize you and you are altogether lovely
all together perfect
you mirror me in ways that i have identified - some of them in wounds and some of them not
i love to share with you
your innocence makes me smile
i notice everything about you.. it is so fun to explore you
i feel like a kid in a candy shop with an unlimited amount of pennies!
your eyes pierce mine with a truth so deep it is almost painful
i love to watch you from afar and know your voice.. your tone, your inflection, your resonance
i love the way you make me feel
i want to feel you more and more each day
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)